On top & admired for once.

Here's a serious question. If you could be any animal, what would you chose to be and why? Now I want you to really think about it, thoroughly. Don't just chose any animal because they look cool or they can fly. Why would you want to look like that? Why do you want to fly, because you want to escape? Think as if there were no humans around. No one had a master or anyone to impress. There is no hierarchy of love in this situation. Just think about the attributes of that animal. Take your life now into consideration.
Often times we think of an animal that is opposite of what we are. We often chose large animals to fill in the gap of fierceness that we lack in our lives now. Some may chose smaller, faster animals to fill the idea of wanting to escape and be on their own.
Me, I'd chose a female Tiger. They're my favorite animals. I'd chose a female tiger for many reasons though. To me, they're the most beautiful animal out there. They're strong, elegant and independent. They can take care of others but they do not need anyone to take care of them. Like the lion, the tiger is king of the hill, jungle, whatever. They are fierce and all the other animals around are afraid of them. I don't want to be feared, but I'd like to be looked up to.
Every woman you will come across wants to be fierce and sexy. We want to be successful and independent. Beautiful, lean, strong, and elegant. Many of us are, but every woman wants to be strong, both mentally and physically. We want to be able to rely on ourselves. Tigers don't seem to worry about love like humans do. Many animals don't. They reproduce, that's what they do. As humans we set ourselves up for disaster when it comes to love. We put ourselves on the line and in the end when we end up heartbroken, we try to become that tiger. We try to become that strong, independent creature. We try to take on our alter ego.
When talking to a good friend he answered a Lion. Like a tiger, the lion is on top. They rule all. He would chose to be a lion to replace the status he has in life now. To take on a role that he's not used to. THIS GUY (inside joke) would be "the guy." He'd be the "king of the fuckin' jungle," and instead of looking up to others, he'd be looked up to. He'd be a fierce hunter and not to mention he'd look awesome.
My mom said that she'd chose a bird, which was my second choice. When we hear the word "bird," the first idea that comes to mind is flying. Flying has always been a super power that our childhood heroes have taken on. Everyone has wanted to fly. It's an escape. It's something we can't do, which is why we look up to it so much. Birds can just take off. Without a care in the world. They wake up, eat a worm, and disappear to another part of the country. They don't seem to have problems. They aren't concerned with relationships because they can just get up and leave (not that many people don't do that already). Worried about getting fired from a job? Of course not because they can just go, free as the wind blows.
It doesn't seem like there's advice in all of this, but there really is. Try to take on an aspect of your chosen animal. I can guarantee that you've chosen an animal that is unlike yourself. Step out of your shell for a day and become that fierce lion or tiger, or just get away and forget it all when something bad happens, be as optimistic as a dolphin or as quiet as a sloth. Just be what you want. I don't care if it's for one day, or even an hour. Just do it. Become your alter ego, because we should all envy ourselves a little. Confidence is not only sexy, but it's admired. So do something that will make you look up to yourself instead of someone else for a while.

"I get knocked down."

Did you ever have one of those days where everything just gets thrown at you at once? Kind of like one giant "fuck you" from the human population. A slap in the face. Like someone kicked you when you were already down. The days that make you kind of doubt all of your beliefs.
I am having one of those days today. Today I went to med-express for the first time to find out that I have mononucleosis or, the "kissing disease." Not that I have been kissing anyone. The doctors were great there and I'd recommend the place to anyone, but telling an 18 year old girl that she has mono on her last weekend of winter break is like giving someone a death sentence. I haven't been able to do anything for days because I've felt horrible. I literally have watched about 15 movies within the past three days. On top of finding out that I have mono, the guy that I was recently in a relationship with, went to see a movie with another girl that I've been wanting to see with him, simply because, that was our thing. I don't blame him for going without me since we're not together but that doesn't mean that it wasn't a slap in the face. It really felt like I got kicked when I was clearly already down.
Relationships are a huge deal to me. They give you a chance to really get to know someone and they're an opportunity to fall in love. I was always the little girl who wanted to meet her soul mate when she was three like Cory and Topanga. I have never been unfaithful in a relationship, and I've never been in a relationship like the one with this guy. I have been cheated on by practically every guy I've been with, until him. He treated me like a princess, which is something new to me after my last relationship. Needless to say, I liked him a lot and being without him has been lonely.
This week has been rough and has even made me question my faith, which is what this is all about. I am a very strong believer in God. I chose not to preach about my faith though, because I realize that not everyone feels the same way. Regardless of how faithful you are, we have all questioned our faith at some point or another. Whether it is because someone you really care about passed away (I would know, I've lost 8 people that meant the world to me already and I'm only 18), or because you lost your job, or went through a bad break up, or maybe you're even a war veteran. It doesn't matter who you, I don't care if you're the pope, you have questioned your faith at some point in your life.
Not only am I a huge believer of the Guy in the sky, but I am also a strong believer in Karma. I believe that we should all treat others the way we want to be treated and apply the "Golden Rule" to every day life. I have loved giving advice for as long as I can remember, not that I can take my own. I have been a shoulder to cry on and an open ear to listen whenever someone had a problem, even if I wasn't close with that person. It's been getting hard to help people that I know won't return the favor though.
What I'm getting at is not to lose your faith or change your beliefs because you've had a bad day, week, month or even year. I've gone through a ton of emotions within the past week and I've had a lot thrown my way that I haven't been able to deal with on my own. Thankfully I've had a friend that has been there for me the whole time to listen to me rant and whine about everything going on. This friend also got me to challenge my beliefs in a way. He told me that good and bad things come to us in cycles. He may be right. Either way, shit happens. You're going to get kicked when your down and then a week later be picked back up and put on your high horse. Good and bad things may come in cycles or as pay back for how we treat others. They may be a test from God. He may throw situations at us to see how much we can handle until we question or start to lose faith in him. He may want to see how we treat others due to what we are going through. It could all be one big test. If it is though, I want it to be a test that I pass. I want us all to pass. So don't let things bother you as much. My friend told me to "hang in there," and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to keep praying and keep treating others the way I want to be treated.
...and like I always say, "hope for the best, expect the worst, and you'll rarely be let down." Don't rely on others for your happiness, because if you make someone or something your world, you're left with nothing when they're gone.

iRant

My name is Caitlyn. I've decided to create a blog to vent how I feel and I hope it does not offend anyone, but if it does, I'm sorry.
To me, honesty is expected. The truth is going to hurt sometimes but everyone is entitled to the truth. Some people say "what they don't know, won't hurt them," and that's true. Finding out the truth can hurt sometimes but it also helps a person grow.
I've been through hell and back, like many other people, and I understand that there are people out there who have been through much worse than I have. I do not take my life for granite. I cherish the people I meet because in some way, they have made an impact on my life. You see, people we don't even know impact us by simply saying "hello." A simple gesture can change the way you think of the human population, whether it's good or bad, that person that just said hello, made you think a little.
When writing these blogs I'm just going to be letting it all out. It's pretty much like giving advice to myself. Many people in my life have told me that I'm great with advice. I've given advice to people that I don't even know and really helped them out. I've befriended my enemies by giving them advice. My only problem is, I never take my own advice. I'm the girl that tells my friends to be cautious and not to fall too hard for a boy because it may be hard to get up, and then I fall on my ass within three months.
I consider myself a strong, funny, awesome person (I lack confidence in my looks but I know I'm a cool person to talk to). I give good advice and I'm always here to listen. I love to write out my feelings. Like I said, by writing these blogs I am not trying to offend anyone. It's simply a way to vent and tell the world how I feel, or the five people that may read my blogs.
As recently told, I am a "ranter." I rant on and on about topics that don't matter in order to relieve stress. I rant about how big of a tool celebrities can be, I rant about ex-boyfriends or girls that I don't like, and like everyone else, I rant about not getting what I want. These blogs will help me rant even more about celebrities, (since I was voted biggest gossip in high school; I know a lot about nothing) dates, school, other girls, whatever comes into my truthful little mind. Don't like it, I'm sorry, but don't read it.